When the Veil is Thin
I first met Death in 5th grade when my grandma died. I didn’t go to the funeral. I’m not sure there was one. I know I didn’t understand who Death was. I just knew there would be no more sleep overs at grandma’s house, no more silver dollar pancakes and no more trips to the candy store.
Our relationship with Death is hard to talk about.
I met Death again when I was 17 and a friend died in a car accident. This re-introduction was loaded with confusion, disillusionment, anger, grief and longing. I began to understand why Death was hard, scary and unwanted.
It was the first time I experienced waves of emotions that I was both aware of and unable to control. Fine one minute, crying inconsolably the next. Death stayed with me for months. Sometimes a shroud separating me from life, sometimes a stone in the pit of my stomach, sometimes a void I thought I might fall into.
That first visit was hard, but as with all things - I asked what there was for me to learn. And it was this:
While we are all alone - my grief was not the same as my friend’s mother’s or father’s as we sat in a room remembering here…we are also all connected. In the universal way we all experience a range of emotions through experience.
The “other side” is so elusive and scary. I have found many people have no way forward to connect with it. To believe the veil is thin and that we can receive guidance and presence from those passed on is not a “normal” belief. Not even necessarily a welcome one. Some dismiss it outright and some argue it cannot be.
In the end, it is a subjective choice.
But for me, in the deep silence, in an inner opening, in moments of joy and gratitude, in learning to listen to myself and asking for assistance from ancestors- I cannot help but believe the universe is one of wholeness and connection - material AND energetic.
I have met Death many times since those early, young days. Death came to visit family, friends and loved ones, each time leaving me with nothing but their impressions on my heart and soul - a weak consolation to their presence in my life.
November first is the day after All Hallow’s Eve, a time when the portal is believed to be thin and connection easier.
If you choose to explore or honor here are some options:
Light a candle and think of someone passed on. Spend a quiet moment in happy remembrance for having known them
Create an altar to ancestors or loved ones, visit it daily until the New Moon in November 19 (Scorpio) when it is good to close the portal of visiting and make room for new beginnings
Set a place at the table and invite a dearly departed to join you for a meal
Death and rebirth are continuous cycles that mark the passing of one hour into another, one day into another, a season, a phase of life, an evolution of self.
It is a time for reflection and for gently releasing unresolved grief and longing to make room for more happiness.
Ultimately Death, in all its many visits has taught me that life is a constant series of transformations of one form into another. To let go of the grief is not to give up the memories or the importance those passed had on your life. It is simply a rhythm of constant birthing, holding on, and letting go of moments and people - whether we want to or not.
On this day when the veil is thin - it is a great time to reflect on your relationship with Death. On what you are releasing and inviting in, on what is thriving and what is ready to pass on to it’s next evolution. There may be tears and sadness. But ultimately, let there be compassion and grace for these are Death’s greatest gifts when we are ready to receive them.
