Hey, I'm Christine.
Just like you, I have struggled in my life with stress, health issues, mindset blocks, running around doing ALL THE THINGS, and trauma from childhood. I have also experienced beauty and healing.
The story of my life is turning out to be one of owning my power and inner wisdom.
To understand that we are energy beings having a physical experience and so whatever your story has been so far, YOU can heal and create a life you desire.
The more you heal and accept yourself, the more you will focus on lasting Vitality, keeping your mind, body, and soul thriving until the day you "Shuffle off this mortal coil."
Just like you, I know there is more to life than struggling and ruining myself to do ALL THE THINGS.
I had to grow up very young.
My mom has MS and so by the age of ten, I was learning to cook, clean , and change my little brother's diapers. There was no choice - I had to show up.
My childhood was a tale of doing what others needed me to do, regardless of how I felt about it.
"Helping" became my benchmark for how I determined my value. And my life was laid out for me - school, career, take care of my parents, squeeze in a family, etc..
No one ever asked me what I wanted.
All of this seemed "normal". Sickness and disease was a "normal" part of life. Putting others before myself was "normal". Taking on the dreams and beliefs of others over my own was "normal." Running to catch up, all. the. time. was "normal."
By my 20s I was agitated by the life laid out before me, and it propelled me to do something drastic.
I ran away from "my" life.
Let's be clear - it wasn't actually my life; it was the life picked out for me, by everyone around me.
I decided I needed to see what else was on the menu, so I did the craziest thing I could think of - I went backpacking across Europe by myself.
With 5 weeks of freedom, I left the structure, the plan, the expectations, the desires and needs of everyone else behind and flung myself out into the world.
It was scary, yes, but I needed to know if the "normal" I was living was actually, you know, normal.
Turns out, not so much!
It was the first time I came face to face with the concept of identity. I was free to make my own choices, responsible for no one except myself.
Deciding, I needed more and ended up moving to South Korea to see more of the world and teach English. I met my partner and began to explore energy and the inter-connectedness of Life from a more expansive perspective.
The Wake-up Call that changed it all
Did you ever have a moment that changed everything for you?
For me it was really one moment, but a string of moments that didn't become clear all at once. Death - or rather a series of deaths in my 30s triggered the realization that has since been the core focus of my life. Quite a few loved ones - families and friends both died of Cancer and diabetes within a short period of time. I had lost others before but not so close, and not so many in such a short period of time. It really caused me to shift out of my paradigm entirely and see LIFE from the widest lens yet.
What was truly important to me came in to a sharp and clear focus.
And the answer was simple - die with all my faculties intact and love the journey getting there. It was that simple. I realized I had the power to control this:
Able to stand in my own power and have my mind, clear and sharp.
Physically fit without the need for medications, titanium parts of me, or unable to care for myself.
Connect and align myself with the Divine energy I believe flows through the universe the vibration of Unconditional Love, and
able to process my emotions in a healthy way, and communicate my needs and desires with love, ease and clarity to those around me, and love the story I'm living.
In my fortieth year, I realized I had spent most of my life serving others. I was exhausted, run down, feeling stuck, and not loving my life, physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually.
It occurred to me that I was not as young as I used to be, not as fast, not as fit, not as able to keep the pace I had always kept. I was tired and what had gotten me this far, was not going to take me to the place I wanted to go. I needed new skills and strategies that aligned with what I actually cared about:
What I care about is Vitality, energetics, giving myself permission to simply "Be", a simple approach to life and health, and giving my self time to create and develop the habits of mind and body that are going to bring my into my 80s and 90s laughing about how great I feel and look.
The simple truth was, I needed better understanding and mastery of discernment about how best to dispense my energy. It was time to work smarter, not harder when it came to how I responded to my life. I needed to be more deliberate.
I needed to care about trusting my inner wisdom and intuition more than what anyone else tries to impose upon me with their beliefs.
I need to focus on healing, energy, aligning with the spiritual laws that operate underneath the surface to feel more in flow and not resistance, and let go of everything that doesn't cause me to FEEL sacred or vital. I need to live my life as wholly as possible - on purpose.
Basically, I am stepping into my CRONE Power.
Are you Ready to Step into your Power?
Let's be honest - you're not getting any younger. And I'm sure you feel as I did - that you don't have the excess energy you seemed to have when you were a maiden, or even the resilience that kept you upright as a maid.
I'm willing to guess you are more aware of how much is in the tank and you'd like to use it wisely - having a better ability to throttle on the days you need it, and knowing when to push or, even, when to stop and replenish.
Have you had enough of living for mainly for others and are ready to own your power?
Desire to finally manage your emotions and release what is no longer serving you?
Energy curious or on the Path of healing and want to learn how to heal yourself?
The simple truth is that the strategies and skills that got you this far are not what are going to allow you to finish strong. If you are already on the run down road then continuing leads to medication, mental deterioration, struggle and sickness.
Life is too short to put it off any longer - you deserve to age gracefully, beautifully, and in love with yourself and the life you are creating.