Has this month been kicking you in the butt? It sure has me. This week especially has been such a bear, I'm impressed I even managed to post this week. More than once I thought, it's too much, what was I thinking, following the moon and trying to say something for each of her quarters? Why didn't I just stick to the big ones, the new moon and the full moon? Ugh! But no, this is what committing means - showing up, even when it's hard and I don't want to. So, a bit shorter this time around, but I'm here.
I have made some pretty big intentions about how I would like my life to organize itself in the near future. To make space for the new, I underwent a lot of healing. And this week is perfect for even more release. I'm not going to lie though, this is the most stress I have felt in a very long time. I am placing a lot of pressure on myself, and blocking life force energy in the process.
For me, I have been in a state of conflict between what I want to have happen and what is actually happening. There were days I wanted to give up and run, and other days I wanted to force my will upon the situation, consequences be damned! And when I checked inside, the answers were cloudy in some respects and clear in others. Needless to day, it has been a confusing, and exhausting week, as I bled much life force energy.
I decided to pull a card, in case anyone else was feeling the same. The card I chose from the Healing Oracle deck, which I love was Dioptase. The card made me smile when I saw it.
This is a powerful heart healing card. It helps one to feel safe and supported to live from the heart. This was great for me, because I was able to express honestly where I was at in my current situation to the people that needed to hear it. What happens now is up the universe. I am finally at peace, knowing I did all I could do. This card comes when we are going through a deep healing of the heart. I find this such a valuable lesson, especially in the month of February, often called the month of "Love".
When we are hurt or wounded by others, or even by ourselves, our instinct is to shut down and close off. It can take a lot of courage and support to keep our hearts open and free, especially when we are struggling. Just remember, if you choose to allow the healing of this stone into your heart, feeling sorrow and grief is normal. Joy and compassion could also be what you feel depending on what you are working to heal at this time.
Whether our intentions came to pass or not, this is the time to release any attachments, grudges or hurts still connected to them or even to the people in our loves. The new moon is on its way, and soon we will have a chance to try again. This is a beautiful time to do the internal work, and get 'your house' in order, so to speak. Listen in to what your heart is telling you. Lean into trust and support.
Today, I am suggesting to light a candle and stare into its flame for at least 15 minutes. Connect with your heartbeat and ask your heart what message it has to give. Then Listen. You might want to also have your journal on hand to take any notes or contemplate further what comes up for you. The beauty of following the moon is that even when we might be feeling down and out, wishing to be left alone - another chance to try again is right around the corner!