3 Benefits of a Relationship ClearingJul 08, 2022
Your oldest is going off to school and you struggle because you still see the baby inside the adult that is heading out to make a life of their own.
You and your sister can’t seem to find common ground and argue about something that has been an issue for you both since you were children and no matter what you do, you can’t get over it.
You and your partner broke up and yet you can’t seem to get rid of them – they call, text and continue to invade your life, your heart and your mind.
You are beginning a new chapter with a parent, one that has different dynamics than before and requires a shift in the power of how you are working together or who is taking care of who.
You leave your job that you hated but every time you think of it, it gets you mad all over again and you want to release the emotional charge that comes every single time you recall how horrible the experience was.
You and your partner had a fight which feels like the same fight you are always having and can't seem to get passed.
Does any of this sound familiar?
All too often we stuff our emotions, our beliefs, and our triggers – we stuff them into our subconscious and move on. We ignore and override, and as long as we are not being triggered on a regular basis we can even pretend that we are “over it”.
This can go on indefinitely, until someone mentions it, until you are forced to deal with it, or until it blindsides you and knocks you on our butt. And let’s be honest – most of are so used to the 2x4 upside our head approach, so much so that it seems anything less isn’t really worth our attention.
I used to be this way too, and then I learned that part of self-care is listening AND RESPONDING to the subtle nudges, taking care of something before it needs to slap me upside my head. Embracing prevention and maintenance, is far less dramatic then needing a full on healing and deep dive into shadow work.
This is why I love relationship clearings. They are gentle, non-invasive ways to reset, recharge, rewire, and otherwise improve and adjust energy patterns within yourself and between another. Whenever the dynamics of a relationship change, or an unhealthy pattern becomes obvious – an energy clearing can clean up the boundaries and the lines.
Here are 3 Benefits of Relationship Clearings
Calling back all your energy
Calling back all your energy is such simple and powerful technique to instantly feel whole and more calm. Like most energy work, it’s harder to remember to do it, than it is to actually do it. And when you call back your energy to you, cleansed of energetic attachments and emotional charges, you feel energized – like spending a lazy afternoon in a hammock overlooking some gentle waves with your favorite snacks, book in your lap and the sounds of birds soothing your nervous system. It just feels good.
When we engage with others we have an energy exchange, because we are energetic beings. It's why we sometimes feel tired or energized after being in a crowd or at a family gathering. We hold space for others, often without conscious awareness. We allow energy vampires to talk our 'ear off', we absorb the complaining, the gossip, the micro-aggressive comments and this causes you to leave pieces of your soul, bits of your energy everywhere you go.
If someone is struggling or going through a hard time, we might attempt to give them our happiness and our health in the hopes that it makes them feel better.
And when we are in discord with others, attacked, belittled, or made to feel unworthy, some of our soul fragments are stolen.
Calling back you energy allows you to retrieve these pieces, cleanse and renew the energy and draw it back to do what it is meant to do - support your own energy field.
Releasing contracts and vows
If you’ve never heard of an energy contract or vow, let’s break them down. Energy Contracts are usually overt deals you make with someone – “I don’t want to have kids.” “Let’s get married.” “Wanna get a cat?” “Take this job and work this many hours and this many days.” They can sometimes be actual legal documents but they always define certain energetic dynamics of power and responsibility. Often they can be more overt and plain to see and understand.
Vows can be a little more confusing because they are often unconscious agreements about how the power dynamics will work. Such as “Oh my partner handles all the bills, I’m no good with money.” “My older sister is the singer. I’m the smart one.” “I’m passionate and so yeah, I yell a lot when I’m upset. It’s just who I am.” “You knew when you met me that I was bad at keeping track of time.” There are also ones about being daddy’s little girl, or being the caretaker in the house, or the youngest sibling and being spoiled. Literally an energetic dynamic can turn into a vow if you both "promise" to be this way forever and ever.
They become vows because on an unspoken level you and whoever you are in the dynamic with “agree” that you or the other will always be this – it is your identifying marker and brings a sense of stability that for better or worse, you can count on the other “always” being this way. And vice versa. (Note - the word 'always' should tip you off that is not a great idea or realistic). The issue is that we are dynamic beings, and it is actually destructive (and silly) to think that we would stay the same over the course of a relationship be it 3 days, 3 months, 3 years, etc.
Vows and contracts essentially lock us into certain roles, energetic patterns, and power dynamics. That’s why it can be so hard when one person wants to change and others aren’t accepting it.
I remember when I was in university, and I quit smoking cigarettes but my flatmates continued – it caused all sorts of strife because the dynamics changed. Same thing happened when I quit drinking alcohol – I actually lost many friends who I came to realize were only drinking buddies disguised as friends.
The great thing about releasing contracts and vows is that it frees you from that energetic pattern, that power dynamic, that identity, that overt and subtle way that you once agreed to interact with another, but which no longer suits or applies to who you desire to be, and is actually now limiting you and holding you back..
Freeing yourself of these limitations allows you to create new and healthier boundaries with conscious attention to the energies you choose to surround yourself with. In other words, you don’t need to go on being the caretaker, putting yourself last, being in tension with a family member or any other dynamic that you no longer wish to participate in! It is possible to release it and start anew.
When the programs, vows, contracts and associated emotions are released – then you can create new dynamics on the relationships and connect in different, healthier ways. Yes, it takes practise and new habits but once the underlying energetic pattern has been cleaned up and shifted, this becomes much easier than trying to do it without this important step.
Cutting Unhealthy Energetic Cords
As energetic beings we cord ourselves to others and allow others to cord to us. It is how we bleed energy or allow it to be siphoned, and it also how we come to rely on certain relationships and dynamics to “feed” us so we feel good. And there are so many ways we can cord to others, and allow them to cord to us.
Heart cords are the best and never get cut – they mutually beneficial and fill us up with love and joy. They operate on statements a simple as “I love you.” Period. The end. No conditions attached.
Almost every other type of cord though, has a condition embedded into it, an action that is meant to take or force you to give. These can be anywhere on the body but often are rooted in the chakra system as it is the chakra system that are the processing centers of energy in the body.
The root chakra might have a cord in that aligns with being taken care of in some way, financially, emotionally, mentally and so you feel compelled to solve their problems, bail them out, take on their burdens or otherwise become responsible for their safety and security in the world. This can happen easily for parents with young children, but as the children grow older if this cord is still operating it blocks the child from learning the important life lesson of personal responsibility.
At the sacral chakra there are often cords that involve the type of sexual relationship you will have or even the creative ways you will interact. If the sex feels demeaning and you are only doing it to please your partner, this a cord that needs to be cut as it should feel good and be empowering for you as well. Also, if it is always your responsibility to find stuff to do, plan dates and otherwise keep things fun and fresh, then this a cord that drains you of your own creative energy which is always going out and does not come back.
The solar plexus has all sorts of power dynamic related cords that revolve mostly around the belief of tell me what to do, tell me who to be. It starts when you are young and perhaps parents have put on you what career or path in life you “should” do, and from there all sorts of people pleasing issues begin to develop and it becomes increasingly hard to give yourself permission to do things your way, to set healthy boundaries, and to stick up for being authentically you.
The heart center can possess unhealthy cords when the feelings of love are fostered by a sense of desperation – as in love me, because I can’t love myself so I need you to do it for me, make me feel special, I’ll die without you, or any beliefs or emotions that make it the responsibility of someone else to provide love and happiness.
The throat center has cords that involve what you are able or allowed to say, how you are allowed to speak, how much truth you are able to express and whether or not there are certain thins you “have” to say to get someone’s attention or affection.
The third eye involves cording around identities and how you are allowed to show up or be seen. If you change your career or an aspect of your identity and someone keeps referencing how you used to be or still speaks to you as if you were still an older version of yourself, then there is a cord preventing the other person from updating, or they are attempting to prevent you from changing because they can’t be bothered to update themselves.
With the crown chakra the cords are often around belief systems – if someone tries to force you to believe their religion, or their world view, if you yourself deny the possibility of other ways of thinking and being and feel “owned” by the beliefs you were raised in, or the religion or spiritual dogma you adhere to, which prevents you from allowing others to have different views without you becoming defensive, triggered or angry – then there are cords there.
The beauty of relationship clearings and how they release cords is that once they are gone, you can then choose if you’d like to have them back or not. When you realize that the universe possesses unconditional love, abundance, security, peace, truth, and literally anything else you need to feel whole and complete then you don’t need to cord yourself to another to get it – nor do you feel compelled to allow another to cord to you.
As you can see, relationship clearings offer many benefits which allow you to structure relationship dynamics in a way that feels good for you, so you can feel energized, more like yourself and able to draw energy from the universal source of unconditional love instead of others who might attach conditions and then make you feel bad for the needs you have. Or worse, begin to cord to you, force contracts and vows upon you, all of which result in a loss of your energy and, if it goes on long enough or is traumatic enough, your soul fragments.
Relationship clearings give your more power and understanding in how you are interacting with others and whether or not that is actually working for you.
If you are interested in signing up for a relationship clearing, you can do so HERE.